Monarchy, who needs it?

In the chronicles of the United States, as seen by future historians, it will be most vociferously argued as to why the very Republican US seemed to have had a puzzling yet very strong love affair with the British Monarchy.

We romanticize it in books, in movies and in popular culture.  Every little girl is supposed to dream of being a Princess with a dreamy Prince Charming riding in to save the day and carry her off as the prize.

(Sound of screeching tires and screeching brakes)  Hold it, hold it!  What the heck are we doing?  He's supposed to carry her off as a prize?  Are we back to that shit again?  I thought we just fought for women's rights?

And how about that hereditary ruler crap?  Or the Divine Right of Kings?  Do we really admire the fact that the British have a Queen who is the hereditary head of the Church Of England?  Really?

So, really, what is a noble?  Where did the concept of "nobility" come from?

So, go see Wikipedia and look it up.  You'll see lots of high faulting' stuff about high social class and so forth, but the reality is, they are the descendants of the biggest baddest thugs around.  Warlords, mostly, because that's what it took to hold onto land and territory and capture the loyalty of the folks who lived there.  Big strong arms, long swords and heavy armor.  Not so much on brains, though.  That came later.

Much later.

Today, what do they provide the societies they "rule"?  For that matter, none of them really "rule" at all!  Figureheads, for "tradition's" sake.  Just about the only place a noble really rules is that little principality Monaco down around France, and even he's got Constitutional Monarchy status.

Lots of pomp and ceremony, high society balls and goings on, fancy marriages and funerals, all to "celebrate" the "tradition" of autocracy in which you, me and all the other little people would have been serfs or worse, bound to some feudal lord or, in some places, to the land, for life.

Did you know that in some places, the local lord had first shot at the virgin bride on the wedding night?  Yep.  For that matter, had some big rich lord patted some poor kid on the butt and led her into the bushes, who was she to say no, or cry rape?

No, the feudal system is dead, and the "nobility" we so fawn over today are a poor shadow of their former selves, strutting about in their wealthy homes, yachts, fancy duds and cars, pretending to be someone important.  While all they really do is provide fodder for the National Inquirer and the British equivalent so the rest of us can sigh and wish we, too were rich and famous.

No, thanks.  I've got a job I love, the bills are paid, my family is raised and living their own lives and I and the cyberwife are happy in our suburban lives without the irritation of scads of bothersome photographers.

Goodbye and good riddance, say I.